Talking about math...

Jena: How did you do that so fast?

Danielle: Because I'm fucking Sheerah Princess of Power, Bitch!

Jena on being scared of turkeys:

I got chased by 2 wild turkeys and never was the same since
thanksgivings my fav holiday cause I get to eat them
ultimate payback for them chasing me

Tija's response to me having 12 house rules when I wanted only 10:

i think 12 is perfect
12 is a really good number
12 apostles and shit

(Conversation about being lucky if you wear green on Saint Patrick's Day)

Tija: i'm guessing you have to be irish to get good luck for wearing green today...
Madison: no shit
Tija: spanish no es igual irish... sigh.
Madison: yeah...where is our damn lucky holiday
Tija: running of the bulls
Madison: thats lucky?
Tija: only if you avoid the bulls

"Sometimes when I'm at work I like to sit in the bathroom because no one will bother me there." - Tija

"She's actually probably thinking.. this place is dark wet and stinky.. I can't believe they want me in here for 9 months, this is incredulous.. get me the fuck out of here!" - Jena

Danielle talking about a job opportunity I was considering in Colombia:

"Holy shit woman! I hope your cell does international! Wanna take my kids and i'll go for you?! Wait. Dont they have GIANT bugs down there?!?! Seriously though. Do they allow makeup out there?  What kind of SHOES do you wear?! Priorities Tija, priorities! Do they have a Coach outlet?! Do you have to pee in a hole?! Do they have hot wings?! I mean there are things to consider! Do they have Lion Spray? Like Bear Spray? I picture you hiding from Mufasa... and it's not pretty! Circle of life my ass! I don’t like going downtown because it's too barbaric for me... OMG! I'd be like the girl from 'My Sweet 16' who had to go down there and live in a tent. OMG! Not a pretty picture!!! At least you'll have good coffee! DUDE! Isn't it like wicked dangerous down there?! Don't get me wrong. It'd be cool to stand next to a fucking giraffe and see an elephant that isn't forced to play with a rubber tire but I'd want to go home after that! And not pee in a hole!!! In all honesty- sounds right up your ally! Wait, they don't have elephants in South America, that's Africa right?! Why would you want to go there then?!! Whatever, just don't party with drug lords!"

"But Mom, it has your favorite sticker on it!" (Gage.. Cousin's kid)

(Cousin looks) SALE STICKER

"I know I have toes because I can see them, but I can't feel them!" - Tina (cousin maker)

Danielle: "Why is Russia fighting with Georgia? Wouldn't they be fighting with the whole US?"
Tija: "Danielle, they mean Georgia the country not the state."

"I just drank 3 mimosas that were as big as god. If god was a mimosa and a glass at the same time, I drank 3 of him!" - Jena