Danielle talking about a job opportunity I was considering in Colombia:

"Holy shit woman! I hope your cell does international! Wanna take my kids and i'll go for you?! Wait. Dont they have GIANT bugs down there?!?! Seriously though. Do they allow makeup out there?  What kind of SHOES do you wear?! Priorities Tija, priorities! Do they have a Coach outlet?! Do you have to pee in a hole?! Do they have hot wings?! I mean there are things to consider! Do they have Lion Spray? Like Bear Spray? I picture you hiding from Mufasa... and it's not pretty! Circle of life my ass! I don’t like going downtown because it's too barbaric for me... OMG! I'd be like the girl from 'My Sweet 16' who had to go down there and live in a tent. OMG! Not a pretty picture!!! At least you'll have good coffee! DUDE! Isn't it like wicked dangerous down there?! Don't get me wrong. It'd be cool to stand next to a fucking giraffe and see an elephant that isn't forced to play with a rubber tire but I'd want to go home after that! And not pee in a hole!!! In all honesty- sounds right up your ally! Wait, they don't have elephants in South America, that's Africa right?! Why would you want to go there then?!! Whatever, just don't party with drug lords!"